Not Alone
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: His pulse throbbed against her fingertips, reminding her that


Disclaimer: Not my characters, but it's fun to play with them.

A/N: Another post-ep for Body Count. Nath, thanks for beta'ing.

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_No matter how dark the night, the sun will rise again in the morning. – Anon._

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One. Two. Three. Hank Kerner in front of her, smirking. Four. Five. Six. Reload. One thought: make him pay for Janet. One. Two. Janet, dead on the beach. Three. "He was trying to pop some bitch cop." Four. Five. Breathe, Calleigh. Six. Her gun against his temple. So close to pulling the trigger. Breathe, Calleigh.

Calleigh lowered her gun and lifted the goggles so she could wipe away her tears. There was little consolation in having caught Kerner; it wasn't going to bring Janet back. Nothing would.

She needed to talk to someone.

Horatio.

Except he wasn't here. He was out looking for Stuart Otis.

Calleigh looked at the gun and pictured it against Janet's temple, Kerner pulling the trigger, laughing. Pictured the bullet tumbling around inside her skull -- Calleigh knew all too well what would happen at such close range.

No, she thought. She had to stop thinking about it. Maybe she should have accepted Hagen's invitation to go out, get drunk and forget. Except, that came with a whole lot of other baggage she didn't want to deal with either.

She headed back to the ballistics lab with the hope that there would be something – anything – to occupy her for a while.

"Calleigh!" Yelina's voice stopped her in her tracks. She turned around slowly, wondering what the woman wanted. If Yelina was back, Horatio must be too, she thought.

"I heard you got Kerner. Well done," Yelina said.

Calleigh nodded, unable to speak past the lump in her throat.

"We got Otis at the aquarium," Yelina continued, oblivious to Calleigh's state of mind.

"Where's Horatio?"

Yelina frowned. "You know, I'm not actually sure. He said he needed to think."

"Thanks." Calleigh smiled. There was only one place Horatio went to think. She hoped he wouldn't mind the interruption.

Her hunch paid off. As soon as she got out her car, she saw Horatio crouched at the water's edge, surrounded by light from the sinking sun. For a moment, she forgot why she had come. But as her feet touched the sand, she thought of Janet lying dead on the beach.

He didn't appear to sense her approach, for once. She stopped a few feet behind him and wondered if coming here had been a good idea. He obviously had a lot on his mind. As she turned to leave, he spoke her name.

"Calleigh." The emotion in his voice stopped her. She looked back over her shoulder. He stood, the front of his pants wet and covered with sand. His sunglasses were as effective as a wall in hiding his thoughts. He removed them, giving her his full attention.

"What's wrong?" he asked. She was amazed; even when he wanted privacy, he still put others first.

"Janet." She turned to face him fully.

He reached for her hand, then changed his mind and hugged her. She leaned into him, grateful for the support, the friendship.

"I'm sorry." The regret conveyed in those two words caused Calleigh's carefully erected wall to crumble. She sagged against him, sobbing, and clutched him as if she were drowning.

"Calleigh."

She buried her face in his chest, clinging tighter. Right now it didn't matter that he was her boss, that this was completely inappropriate, that he loved somebody else.

She needed him, and right now it was okay to be weak.

The sun continued its lazy descent as the sea breeze cooled the air. Still, Horatio and Calleigh stood where they were. At some point, her tears stopped, but she couldn't bring herself to leave the safety of his arms.

Gentle hands smoothed her hair away from her face. His eyes met hers as he outlined the paths her tears had marked on her skin.

"Give me your keys."

Calleigh dipped a hand in her jacket pocket, pulled out the keys and pressed them into Horatio's palm. She noticed the scratch on his hand and her eyes teared up again. "You're hurt."

"It's nothing."

She held his hand in hers and studied the wound, committing each detail to memory. His pulse throbbed against her fingertips, reminding her that he too was made of flesh and blood. Like Janet, he could be hurt. Like Janet, he could die.

Her knees gave in. He caught her before she fell and scooped her into his arms. As he carried her back to the parking lot, she wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "Promise me I'll never lose you."

"Calleigh—"

"I don't think I could bear it."

"I'm not going anywhere." He reached Calleigh's car and set her down. She had a fistful of his shirt clenched in her hand and he carefully loosened her fingers. "Let's get you home."

She shook her head, fresh tears pooling in her eyes.

"Oh, Cal, I wish I could make it better for you." He touched his lips to her cheek, kissing away the tears. "I wish it didn't have to hurt so much."

Of course, Calleigh thought, he knew this kind of grief. He'd lost loved ones before.

"You're not alone, Cal. I'm here as long as you need me."

Calleigh opened her eyes and stared into his. She saw herself reflected in them, and she smiled.

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_I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars._ – Og Mandino 


End file.
